It would be easy to imagine, based on my 10 years working in the sex industry and the topics I cover in my writing, that I live a wild life that consists of late-night hedonistic debauchery. The reality is quite different.
I’m a nerdy writer and a fierce introvert who likes to spend long periods alone in silence. Moreover, I’m whatever brand of neurospicy makes loud and people-filled environments physically painful. Indeed, one of the best things about my job as an escort is that I’ve created a work environment where I only have to interact with one person at a time, for a predetermined duration, in an entirely private setting.
That was the first of several Obsidian parties they shot — a goth rave/dance party with performances created and produced by artist and performer Aiden Sin Flame. Each time PJ went to one of the events they came home with tales of intense performances akin to ritual, wild costumes, loud techno, and sweat-filled dancefloors.
In the wake of the pandemic, after most social spaces had been shut down for some time, Aiden created Obsidian because she didn’t think there were enough parties like this in the area. “I just wanted to create something cool,” she tells me over video chat.
She didn’t have a lot of expectations going into her first event and recalls thinking, “If it's good, we'll do it again. If it's not, then, you know, we won't.” But she was floored by the response to her first Obsidian, which had a turnout that far exceeded her expectations, solidifying the demand for such a space here in Pittsburgh.On Nov. 1, she is hosting her sixth Obsidian at Club Pittsburgh from 9 p.m.-4 a.m. Live performances by Lilac Web, Ravae Chainsaw, Roxie Hard, and Nasty have been lined up, with DJs Erica Scary, Krass Advert, and Strigoii are set to take the stage as well.
Given the proximity to Halloween, this party’s theme is vampire blood lust, and she is stepping up her game. While previous parties have had two DJs, this one will have three, and for the first time, attendees of all genders will be allowed to explore the upper levels of the building, separate from the party, where nudity and public sex are permitted. (As a gay bathhouse, historically, men have typically only been allowed in these areas of Club Pittsburgh.)
Obsidian welcomes and embraces various aspects of kink, creating a space where folks can express themselves freely and explore their interests. As Nicci, a self-described leather dyke and organizer with the Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP) Pittsburgh notes, the event has a "very positive" atmosphere, featuring artisans vending leather goods and other kink-related items.
Aiden clarifies that while Obsidian is "kink forward," it's not a play party or a swingers party. Attendees are welcome to display their Dominant/submissive dynamic or dress in a way that reflects their kink interests, but the focus remains on creating a safe and inclusive environment for everyone.
Obsidian is known for its captivating and unconventional performances, pushing the boundaries of artistic expression. In Nicci’s words, “Aiden brings in some really creative burlesque acts.” Attendees have witnessed unforgettable acts like a burlesque performance involving an angle grinder, showcasing the event's commitment to creative and daring displays. Performers like Columbus-based Ravae Chainsaw bring their unique talents to Obsidian on Nov. 1, with plans to showcase electro-play and bloody needle acts this time. These performances, albeit intense, are always conducted with a focus on safety and consent.
Ravae emphasizes the importance of using proper safety equipment and obtaining the necessary certifications for such performances. From sterile needles and sharps containers to checking in with their "bottom" throughout the performance, every precaution is taken to ensure a safe and consensual experience for those involved and those watching. They explain that in their performances/demonstrations they are diligent about checking in with their bottom: “I'm like, ‘Are you still feeling okay? Are you just checking out of this mentally because it's taking me too long?’”
Ravae remarks that at Obsidian they have the authority to stop any performance to ensure the safety and comfort of the people they are working with, which is important given the intensity of what they are doing. They say of their needle demonstrations, for example, “I have to keep track of excessive bleeding, of how the skin looks. I'm not afraid to disturb my art piece for safety.”
This commitment to safety allows the audience to fully immerse themselves in the artistic spectacle, appreciating the skill and dedication of the performers while witnessing the beauty and intensity of these alternative art forms. Looking back on a past performance, Aiden says, “When we did the flesh suspension altar [at a previous Obsidian], I stepped back and looked at my friend who was, like, being made into this human ornament, and the beauty of it, and I was like, ‘This is literally a live ritual that we're all participating in at the same time.’” Indeed, I remember my partner telling me about the power of that exact moment when they came home from shooting that night.
This inclusive spirit extends to the event's collaboration with SWOP. At the upcoming event, SWOP will be fundraising for their Mutual Aid Fund. From 9 pm until midnight, representatives from SWOP will be giving spankings for tips that will provide essential support to sex workers in need. This partnership underscores Obsidian's commitment to social responsibility and its role as a safe space for marginalized communities. As Aiden explains, "Any charity that I help or any organization that I help has to be somewhere that I or people that I care about can ask for help.”
Having personally benefited from SWOP's assistance during a difficult time, Aiden understands the importance of their direct and non-judgmental approach to providing aid. Moreover, SWOP's Mutual Aid Fund, established during the pandemic to address the urgent needs of sex workers impacted by lockdowns and economic hardship, continues to play a vital role in providing a safety net for the community.
Nicci says, “From my experience, Aiden throws a good party. If you go, you’ll have a good time.” And as a plug for SWOP, she adds, “If you go and you decide to try out bottoming for impact play for the first time, you might find something that you like! Even if you don’t, you’ll be supporting a good cause — helping sex workers and all!”
Speaking with Aiden, Ravae, and Nicci has convinced me that I should step outside of my comfort zone a bit and go to a party. If you want to see me there, I’ll be the wallflower in the back with earplugs in. I’ll make sure to bring a few extra dollars because, though I’m inclined to turn down party invites, I never turn down a good spanking.
Jessie Sage is a Pittsburgh-based sex worker, writer, and the host of the podcast When We’re Not Hustling: Sex Workers Talking About Everything But.
You can find Jessie on her website or her socials: X: @sapiotextual & Instagram: @curvaceous_sage.
You can find Jessie on her website or her socials: X: @sapiotextual & Instagram: @curvaceous_sage.
