Affordable-ish Housing in Pittsburgh: Sights in the Heights edition

There's Bucco baseball on the North Shore, cherry trees blooming, pollen floating on the breeze — it almost makes up for all the poor Pittsburgh magnolias whose displays didn't survive this month's frosts. Your guess is as good of mine what tomorrow's weather will hold!

That's right, readers; it's the Spring of Deception, and we're looking skyward for this edition of Affordable-ish Housing in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh has six neighborhoods with "Heights" in the name, and we're checking out three of them. (This is sort of the neighborhood equivalent of "the bigger the hair, the closer to god.") What the Heights neighborhoods lack in easy bike access, they more than make up for in charm and quiet. Plus, one of them is accessible via Pittsburgh's last functioning incline while PRT sorts out the $8 million boondoggle connecting Station Square and Shiloh Street.

Ready to climb?

CRAFTON HEIGHTS

For sale: 1113 Chartiers Ave., $192,900
This Craftsman cutie is perfect for fans of The Tudors. Just look at that timber framing and Gothic arch! As an added bonus, the kitchen has that greyscale granite vibe everyone seems to love, and you're walking distance from a Family Dollar, so all your witch-finger Bugles dreams can come true if you move here. The oak woodwork brings some bang for your buck whether or not you agree that the West End is the best end.

For rent: 1503–1505 Steuben St., $1,295/month
This ranch duplex leans more Mad Men for all you midcentury mavens. Who needs oak when you can have a knotty pine rec room? Plus, you can walk to Better Maid Donuts or down to Obey House for $2 tacos. There's even a nifty community garden down the way. This is one of those situations with a walkout basement if you ever need to flex your topography to non-Pittsburghers who don't get how insanely steep this city really is.

DUQUESNE HEIGHTS

For sale: 1320 W. Sycamore St., $159,900
Ever considered buying an "income generating up and down duplex"? It's easy enough to repaint greige walls and become the evil landlord you wish to see in the world. This one could use a little spit-shine, but you could always live in one of the apartments while gutting the other. Also, if you dig down deep enough, you'll hit the Fort Pitt tubes — that plus an e-scooter and you could really cut down on commute time.

For rent: 450 Augusta St., $995/month
All those blue doors up front could make for a really fun Scooby-Doo door chase scene (surprise, surprise: inside, there's more greige). There's also access to a creepy Pittsburgh basement, a must for any renter. There's no visible Pittsburgh potty, but at least you're not on the hook for maintenance. I want to add that I really like it when realtors take time to make vacuum stripes on the carpet before they take pictures. Satisfying!

STANTON HEIGHTS

For sale: 115 Elena Ct., $115,000
For sale: baby house, never built. This poor thing is just sitting, waiting to become your forever home. The listing says it comes with permits and plans if you want to realize someone else's vision. Those plans call for an itty-bitty 2BR 1BA that can somehow fit a stackable washer and dryer. There's also a covered carport. Or, as the listing points out, you could knock it down and start over, but where's the fun in that?

For rent: 4502 Stanton Ave. #A, $875/month
Number A? Sure, why not. Here it is, your high-up, cozy greige paradise, complete with a Pittsburgh essential: a non-functioning fireplace that takes up a few valuable square feet but offers photo display and potentially cat-perching opportunities. I've had one of these in nearly every Pittsburgh house I've lived in. If you don't already have back and neck problems, it's a great place for your TV! All that craning of your neck will be offset by the looking down you'll be able to do from your perch atop one of Pittsburgh's highest hills. Your move, Upper Lawrenceville.