Photo: Courtesy of Zillow
7113 Schoyer Ave.
So, what constitutes “affordable” in Pennsylvania, anyway? I’m asking because I have no idea.
Pennsylvania is a big state — almost 13 million people, 19 electoral votes, the prize of the Rust Belt.
It includes old-money Main Line Philadelphia suburbs, decaying industrial behemoths like Johnstown, forgotten mining towns like Nanty Glo, and everything in between. It doesn’t really hold together very well thematically, culturally, or any other way you slice it. The only thing keeping us together with our eastern brethren may be a mutual disdain for New Jersey.
The average home price in Pennsylvania is $270,780 according to Zillow. For the Pittsburgh metro, a separate survey puts it at $265,000. In the U.S. as a whole, it’s $362,481.
So … affordable is less than those? Less than two out of three?
The money you have to spend also seems like it ought to be important. So, we could build an algorithm that controls for regional variations between neighborhoods, salary, job market, inherited wealth, aggregate demand, and all the other possible variables.
Or, we could just go with $270K. Let’s do that.
For sale: 7113 Schoyer Ave., Swisshelm Park. $299,000.
Of course, I have to break my own rule immediately — $299,000 is a bit less affordable-ish than we like to go — but this Swisshelm Park home has all the charming parts of a Pittsburgh grandma house, and few of the off-putting ones (nicotine-stained walls, heinous carpets). It’s even got an aluminum awning that looks good, which is a sentence I can’t believe I just wrote. Swisshelm Park is just nice all-around, with the sylvan repose of Frick Park at your doorstep and actual squirrels vying to be your nebbiest neighbors.
Photo: Courtesy of Zillow
200 Franklin Ave.
For rent: 200 Franklin Ave., Apt. 7, Regent Square. $900/month.
Well, I got about halfway through a joke how Regent Square doesn’t exist — it’s really a city neighborhood, Swissvale, or Wilkinsburg based on some sort of arcane interpretation of municipal boundaries — but life is too short to complete that thought. Sometimes, you just want a cheap apartment that’s in walking distance of decent tacos and pizza and a big park. If it comes with an exterior that’s four clashing colors, with an ornamental iron porch that can be used for nothing, well that’s a bonus.
Photo: Courtesy of Zillow
1818-1820 Westmont Ave.
For sale: 1818-1820 Westmont Ave., Carrick, $257,500.
A duplex so symmetrical, it looks like it was cut out of the fabric of Carrick like paper dolls. It’s also got a color scheme that’s unexpectedly pleasant, an unusual hue of light blue with grey-painted brick enclosing the porches. For two self-contained homes, this is quite affordable.
Photo: Courtesy of Zillow
234 Bigham St.
For rent: 234 Bigham St., Mt. Washington. $1,450/month.
World’s dullest rollercoaster: the Duquesne Incline. Oh, wait, this is actually transportation? Like moving people efficiently and safely from Point A to Point B instead of just letting them fall off a cliff and roll to their destination? Do Mt. Washingtonians just ride the Inclines up and down constantly because they can, or does the magic wear off? I like that this place advertises itself as “one block from the Bigham Tavern,” which is a nice way to imply that drunk driving is thankfully unnecessary, but drunk-Inclining is a possibility.
Photo: Courtesy of Zillow
1037 Bayridge Ave.
For sale: 1037 Bayridge Ave., Brookline. $269,000.
In the past, I’ve been way too optimistic about certain Pittsburgh neighborhoods that seem to have a lot going for them, but for whatever reason, can’t seem to make the jump into places people actually want to live. But Brookline is kind of the opposite; it’s nice as it is, with lots of decent houses in good shape for very little money, in a neighborhood with all the amenities of a more expensive place. And it’s a very big neighborhood, so that seems unlikely to change in the short term (long term, maybe). This 1925 four-square is a classic on the outside, brand-new on the inside, with some curious design choices (green walls, and one with an odd texture) that mostly pay off.
Photo: Courtesy of Zillow
1635 Suburban Ave.
For rent: 1635 Suburban Ave., Beechview. $1,299/month.
There are hilly Pittsburgh neighborhoods (like all of them except the Strip and East Liberty), and then there’s Beechview, which makes every trip to the grocery store seem like a white-knuckle ride on Kennywood’s ricketiest rollercoaster. This place takes the rustic look and makes it squeaky clean and bright white, which is odd, but not unappealing.