How do you fence a truckload of Jaromír Jágr bobbleheads? We asked the FBI

Everyone, it seems, has something to say about the Jaromír Jágr bobblehead incident. Jokers in Pittsburgh, where the truck full of sports collectibles was bound before it was stolen in California, filled social media feeds with reaction gifs and "theories."

The bizarre news even made it outside of Pittsburgh, where, beginning in 1990, Jágr had a successful run with the Penguins before being traded in 2001. Most notably, the GOP House Judiciary Committee used #bobblegate (yes, that's what I'm calling it) to heckle President Joe Biden, as a way to imply that things really have gotten worse during his term, and possibly to ensure voters think of the poor hockey fans this big election year.

One distinct facet of the bobblehead debacle (de-bobble?) is the appearance of fake online listings selling the items, including one offering the whole truckload for $20,000. But while these mock listings are all in good fun, Pittsburgh City Paper news editor Colin Williams asked one pertinent question when #bobblegate first broke: How the hell do you fence a truckload of bobbleheads?

Initially, eBay featured listings selling what appeared to be the stolen bobbleheads, all of which popped up on Thursday, the same day as the theft. City Paper reached out to eBay, who shed light on the situation. 

A communications representative speaking on background said eBay had looked into these listings and they were from people who planned to attend the game and then sell the bobbleheads. They added they hadn't seen any listings with the bobbleheads in the seller’s possession, but that out of an abundance of caution, they were going to block listings for these items under their presale policy, since no make up date for bobblehead distribution had yet been set.

The answer only conjured more questions — most importantly, how "presale listings" are allowed — and failed to shed more light on potential Jágr bobble fencing. So, next up was the FBI, as Kevin Acklin, the Penguins' president of business operations, said in a statement that the organization had enlisted the help of "local and federal authorities on the investigation."

CP reached out to both the national FBI office (who did reply by press time) and the Pittsburgh FBI office. Bradford Arick, the public affairs specialist for FBI Pittsburgh, replied, "While cargo theft is certainly a criminal action that the FBI would investigate, per policy, I cannot confirm or deny the existence of an FBI investigation involving the Pittsburgh office related to the alleged theft of a shipment of Pittsburgh Penguin [Jaromír Jágr] bobbleheads. Additionally, per policy, I cannot discuss any specific investigative actions the FBI may employ related to any investigation. Another federal agency may or may not be investigating this specific alleged theft."

Arick did, however, direct us to the FBI Crime Data Explorer page, and suggested scrolling down to the "Cargo Theft" statistics. There, he said we would find "previous releases related to other specific cargo theft incidents and investigations" that should help "illustrate the scope of previous cargo theft investigations that the FBI has been involved with."

The FBI defines cargo theft as the "criminal taking of any cargo including, but not limited to, goods, chattels, money, or baggage that constitutes, in whole or in part, a commercial shipment of freight moving in commerce." This includes shipments traveling by "motor truck, or other vehicle." 

"For purposes of this definition, cargo shall be deemed as moving in commerce at all points between the point of origin and the final destination, regardless of any temporary stop while awaiting transshipment or otherwise," it continues.

Cargo theft statistics from 2022, the most recent year provided, provided a fairly bleak outcome for the likelihood of finding the Jágr bobbleheads. For example, of the nearly $14 million worth of cargo stolen in California, where the bobblehead shipment was stolen, only 8.9% of it was recovered.

Stealing sports bobbleheads may seem odd, but based on the various cargo theft cases on the FBI website, it adds to a long list of strange stolen merchandise. While electronics and pharmaceuticals are a big draw, cargo thieves in the U.S. have, over the last several years, absconded with sports drinks, meat, tequila, and, most notably, 19,000 pounds of Perry Ellis perfume.

Missing, however, was data on how agencies tracked down these recovered goods as it relates to the selling of them. One anecdotal article from the FBI website, dated 2012, recalls a tractor-trailer stolen in Tennesee and how a crew specializing in stealing cargo "know where to find willing buyers, too — from small mom and pop stores who don’t ask questions when they buy at prices below wholesale to online merchants who may or may not know they are purchasing stolen goods." While disappointing, the absence of information makes sense given that the FBI would probably rather not reveal their investigation tactics to potential thieves.

As for the bobbleheads, Arick tells CP during a brief phone call, "I don't even know if you could sell them anywhere now. Everybody knows that they're being looked for."

He adds, with a laugh, "Who's going to try to move 19,000 bobbleheads on the black market?"

Current investigation aside, Penguins fans are guaranteed to get their little Jágr collectibles. Ticketholders who arrived at the March 14 game at PPG Paints Arena, where the bobblehead giveaway was to take place, received vouchers allowing them to procure the promised bobbleheads at a later date.