Let's talk about Dumb and Dumber To, the Farrelly brothers' un-asked-for sequel to their 1994 hit, Dumb and Dumber: Stale and Staler. Stupid and Stupider. Critic and Critic-er.
That's right — City Paper sent two staffers to the screening, since guest critic Charlie Deitch loved the first film and was eager to see the second. But alas, the hoped-for, loved-it/hated-it lively and comprehensive analysis collapsed into a giant agreed-upon pile of Reasons Not to See This Film.
• Forgot that Jim Carrey and his hyper-mugging was even a thing.
• Characters are written as stupid to facilitate jokes, rather than the jokes illuminating amusing aspects of the characters.
• Even a 10-year-old couldn't make this many jokes about "balls" and "nuts."
• Exhibits palpable sense of terror regarding women and their sexuality.
• There is a cat named "Butthole." Funny, because cats have buttholes!
• Astonishing fact: Six writers are credited for the script. Six!
• Jeff Daniels' big pink bare ass. No, please, no.
• Makes fun of: Asian accents, the blind, the deaf, the mentally ill, the severely disabled, Canadians.
• 110 minutes long: Brevity wouldn't have saved the movie, but it would have lessened the pain of watching it.
• Gross-out humor — how 1994.
• Ask yourself: "Do I want to see Jeff Daniels change Jim Carrey's diaper — twice?"
• Cameo from reality-TV has-been Mama June from Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo.
• If you're quick, you can probably get back the full price of your ticket on the strength of the strenuously unfunny opening gag: an amateur de-catheterization.
• Truly alarming 1970s soft-rock flashback: "Cinderella," by Firefall.
